Title: Currently Transforming

Gender: Female

Age: 21

Sun Sign: Sagittarius

Chinese Sign: Fire Tiger

Location: Chapel Hill, NC

I am a Dreamer, a Hooper, a Bookworm, a Soprano(1), a Pagan,  and a Witch,  but most of all, I'm a Seeker. I seek Music, I seek Light, Knowledge, Power, Understanding, Elightenment, Magic(k), God,  and Wonder…I wanna bring Light, I want to bring Hope, and Peace, and Joy, and Fun,…I wanna turn the tide, bring it over the top, change the World. I  Want to learn about Magick, Psionics, The Earth, The God(ess)s, Music, singing, Quantum Mechanics, Ancient History, Science, ….all that good stuff.

Just now I am in a state of flux. I am changing, transforming, Becoming.
What, I'm not quite sure. ….
It seems to be both more  Warrior, and more kind. …
So far, I am learning:
That as you take, you Must also Give; since I did a lot of taking as a child, now I must give more.
That  you must Make the leaps of faith, and that you Will fall, and you must both accept the falls, and prepare for them.
That it's ok for women to be fierce, that it's ok for us to look everyone squarely in the eye, that it's ok to fight for who you are.
That if you want to keep a frantic pace you must also plan in rest.
That Planning ahead is a good thing.
…See what I mean?





The above paragraph is bullshit. It is the wish I make when I cannot stand the truth of the cowardice I display. I tell it so well hthat i believe it for the moment. But I don't act on it. And with time it fades away.THe truth, is that I am a phoenix, smothering. I am smothering in fear. I fear to ruely look at my own actions, and desires, and fears. I am afraid, because I know when I look, I will be filled with shame, and digust, and pain, and fear. pain, because the mouse-who-hides is not who I am meant to be, and fear, because if I truely embrace what I am meant to be..I will be venturing into the unknown, and I am afraid. I am afraid, because I see that what I need to be, is a visionary, because the world is in desparate need of visionaries, and a leader, because no one else is moving, adn arebel, because no one listens to those who play by the rules.And I am afraids, because Breakign the rules, comes with the price of pain, and testing, and the dark night of the soul, and I've always been a bit of a wimp. But I've been waitign for a while for “Someone” to do something, and “someone” has not come. And We've been “waiting on the world to change” but the world does not change unless you force it to change. ANd everyone's waitign for a “someone” …BUt what can I do? ANd what if I fail? an dwhat iof it hurts? and so the flames are smothered again, and I go back to being the mouse..

Member Since: Thursday, July 13 2006

Last Visit: 122 days ago.

Profile Viewed: 1603 times (last viewed less than a minute ago)